I have yet to meet any other single person who has "realized" their souls eternity, but even if they had, such a position of realization does not remain a constant.
It's like climbing up a mountain. Finally you reach the top and from that vantage you can see everything below you. You can set there for a while but finally you must go either up or down,
"The filling you had why you think is superior to that mountain. Is it because somebody told that?"
I’m sorry, I didn’t understand your last question, I do not recollect any mention of any feeling that I had during my experience of the eternity of my soul. Now that you mention it however, I’d say eternity is bigger than any mountain for it is after all quite measureless.
"Never was there a time when I did not exist, nor you, nor all these kings" Krsna
Mere belief on the other hand is not as comforting as the experience.
you must engage in some activity and if that activity isn't devotional service to Krsna you will go down.
Firs what is "devotional service to Krishna"? Wake up at 4am in the morning, go to Mangala arati, be on class of Srimad-Bhagavatam!. It’s silly.
There is an old Zen saying:
"Before enlightenment; chop wood carry water. Ater enlightenment; chop wood carry water."
My how I envy you, I haven’t got up at 4 am in the morning to go to arati or the a.m class on the Bhagavatam in almost 30 years. But I do now and then manage to get to a Sunday Feast, perhaps my experiences during which might enlighten you as to whyI hope to never become so jaded as to consider such things to be a waste of time.
They must have been hard up for speakers on that night, whoever it was however had gone off upon some tangent, some development that he was interested at the time. While I was listening to him I began to get a stream of realizations that had nothing to do with his lack of profundity, explanations of what things meant in relation to Krsna. As I sat there congratulating myself and feeling rather smug I just happened to glance up at Lord Balaram, whose eyes of course were looking at me, as they seem to be looking at everyone. There was a difference however in His facial expression. Where normally Lord Balaram is smiling, He was frowning, frowning at me. It was a complicated expression, exactly like the frown of a parent whose child is amusing him, of whom he is proud, but to whom he also wishes to convey that something that the child is doing or feeling is not good for him. How long Lord Balaram could have managed to keep that frown before he busted out laughing in joy I do not know, but it is written that Lord Krsna destroys the false pride of His devotees.
Those realizations coming through the speaker though having nothing to do with him were Krsna’s gift to me, not anything that I had achieved independently (although I did know something about the occult topic that the speaker was talking about, more so than he, I might ad) The realizations given me that night were beyond anything available anywhere upon those topics, I know.
For coming all that way to see Him, to listen to a speaker not very interested in Bhagavatam, who didn’t know a hundredth as much as I knew about the topic that he was talking about, Krsna filled in for him, providing me with knowledge to push the envelope, if that is what I wished.
Language is hypnotic. Prabhupada was aware of this, as was Lewis Carrol, the author of Alices Adventures in Wonderland. Say that a thing is boring, say that it is a waste of time, and lod and behold it is.
We took a cat and put wires into his head and then placed a ticking clock up next to his cage. We then congratulated ourselves for through our advanced science we could tell that the cat was hearing the clock ticking.
We left the wires in and the ticking clock right where it was and then we took a cage full of mice and placed it up beside the clock. We expected that the cat would ignore the clock but what we did not expect is that it wouldn’t hear it (it was a very loud clock). But the cat didn’t have to ignore the clock for it had turned off the clock, at the ear.
If it’s mice or anything else you want, there’s a lot of things that you won’t see and or hear, especially if you’ve already categorized something as being boring, silly, pointless, or in other words of no interest. If you cannot find Krsna or Guru in the temple, where do you think that you will find them?
" Even when you can see Krsna and Guru in everything and everywhere rising up at 4 am to attend arati and Bhagavatam class might not be as boring or as silly as you might think, unless you’ve already made up your mind that they are."
After I left the movement I used to go into Woolworth’s five and dime department store. It was only a couple of blocks then from where I lived and it had parakeets and finches. I didn’t imagine that I could engage any human being in devotional service but I could always chant Hare Krsna to the parakeets and finches, it had a soothing effect on them. One day I had finished chanting to them and was walking down an isle toward the exit when I stopped. I just stopped. It wasn’t a conscious decision at all. I just stopped, for no reason whatever. Then I began to walk again in another direction. I was waking straight in a beeline, towards who9 or what I could not imagine. Then I looked up and noticed that I was walking towards a girl behind the lunch counter. I stopped in front of her and said hello and asked her for her phone number, no discussion, no attraction, she gave it to me.
I called her a day or two later and went over to the place that she was staying. She told me of how unhappy she was with life, of how she yearned to find a spiritual community, and I hadn’t even mentioned Krsna Consciousness, religion, God or anything. She kept on and on and on until she drug it out of me. The next Saturday I drove her down to the Los Angeles temple and surrendered.
She had had to drag it out of me anything to do with the Krsna consciousness movement because I knew that the Krsna Consciousness movement was in the jaws of wolves and I feared for the safety of anyone entering it. But she was so desparate and had even been praying so hard and so sincerely that Krsna had used me, so I told her, but held in reserve what I knew, not expecting her to just surrender so damn suddenly. But everything I told her about Krsna consciousness was what I still believe Krsna consciousness to be about She surrendered to my presentation and then she surrendered to what she thought was that presentation and I kept my mouth shut, never telling her that her soon to be guru was in Maya, etc. This I could see.
As it was she had surrendered so suddenly with no knowledge of anything about Krsna conciousness besides what I had told her that the authorities at the farm community where they sent her were suspicious of her and delayed her initiation for over a year.
Krsna protected here where I couldn't, saving her from the worst abuses. Still she got passed around from one advanced devotee to another. She had wanted a nice husband, not to be passed around by devotees who pretended by day that they were staunch brahmacharis but who called her to "worship" them at night.
I didn’t know about this while it was happening and learned about it only many years afterwards, many years after she had left the movement and was living with her little daughter as a devotee, worshiping Krsna, taking prasadam and greatfull to me and to Krsna. Today like so many others she is still a devotee just not a member of ISKCON.
She was the last devotee that I "made." Since 79 Krsna hasn’t taken control of my senses and directed me to say anything to anyone that would lead them to join ISKCON
But there are other things that Krsna has had me do that are quite amazing.
"For me to have huge eagerness to know the truth ourselves without concoction, without blindly following somebody is a "devotional service to Krishna".
Krsna Consciousness as a science doesn't require your belief, it requires you to conduct an experiment with yourself as the subject, to raise you up to the position in which you see.